Musings: Introverts, extroverts, WFH, and returning to the office

A conversation with a colleague got me thinking about how the pandemic, and specifically how quarantine/working from home (WFH) has been a very different experience for those who are extroverted and those who are introverted. And as WFH is a different experience for different folks, returning to the office will be felt differently too.

Note: all the people quoted here have self-identified as extroverts (how DO you spell that word?) or introverts. The quotes without links are people I know personally.

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“I could happily work from home 100% forever.” - D. (introvert)

“Just going through this has really taught me that it is OK to prioritize that alone time.” – (Christine Koegler, introvert)

“I don’t mind working from home, but my husband wants to be in the same room with me, talking. All. The. Time.” J. (introvert, husband is extrovert)

“I don't know how much more of this I can take.” - S. (extrovert, referring to quarantine/working from home)

“Extrovert here whose job is coordinating performances and concerts for a music school and youth orchestra, living with two introverts and a fellow extrovert. It's been brutal. I overshare with grocery clerks.”  -  (“Susan Peterson squared” via Twitter)

To put it simply, “introverts recharge alone, but extroverts get energy from other people” . While introversion/extroversion is a continuum, and an individual can show introverted tendencies in some situations and be extroverted in others, many people lean towards one or the other preference regarding social interactions.

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It’s now over 13 months into the COVID-19 pandemic, and things are finally starting to open up. Or are they opening up for a second time, after the kind-of false start last Fall? It is unclear how this is going to go, and whether this planned reopening will be a real one, or there will be yet another lockdown in our future, as both vaccination rates and infection rates are rising.

But for the moment, here we are, in a seeming re-opening situation, after months and months of very limited socializing and, for many, working from home.

If social isolation can be draining for some and sustaining for others, what happens when an introvert and an extrovert quarantine together? Is it like a two-person performance of Sartre’s NO EXIT, each person wanting something from the other that they cannot get, with no way out? Continually seeking solitude when in the same living space with someone who wants to spend more time with you is distressing for both people, not to mention the added complication of any others present in the household.

While some have suffered, others, to their surprise, have adapted: “I'm a person I didn't know existed in March. And I actually really like being by myself,” (John Vezina, extrovert). 

Have introverts had the advantage, since the pandemic started? Alex Berg thinks so, noting that “coronavirus has undone many of the ways in which we think of extroverts as having an advantage in our highly social world.”

Contradicting that idea, though, is a study from last October , which found that “it turns out [introverts] are in fact experiencing increased levels of loneliness (50%) and unhappiness (31%). In comparison, one-third of extraverts report feeling unhappy and only 12%, lonely.”

And what happens when (if?) we all return to on-site work? What is a delight and a relief (a gain) for extroverts will be a drag and an ordeal (a loss) for introverts.

While some workers have been back on-site at least part of the time since last year, others are facing the prospect of coming back now, or soon, and all that entails (including commuting, possibly trying to social distance in a crowded open-plan office, encountering COVID deniers and others who refuse to wear masks, and the disruption of whatever arrangements and routines they and their families have established over the last year-plus), while still worrying about catching and/or spreading the virus, with or without vaccinations. Not surprisingly, many are apprehensive to put it mildly, and after adjusting to remote work, some just don’t ever want to come back. Some would even take a pay cut in order to continue working remotely.

It remains to be seen how many jobs retain a WFH option at least some of the time, in the months and years to come, and what kind of ripple effect this has long term, on hiring, demographics, education, real estate, office design, management practices, necessary skills for the workplace, perks offered by employers, “work” attire, salaries, and more. Will resentment from those who have been working on-site for many months affect working relationships when formerly-WFH colleagues re-join them in the workplace?

It will be interesting to see which changes brought about by the pandemic become permanent.
 

What would your ideal work situation look like?

Many thanks to (extrovert) Randi Mason for the inspiration for this post!

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